I AM THAT I AM
This journey begin July 23, 1987. Deep in between two mountains in Pennsylvania by a river sits a little city in a valley called Reading. In this little city is where all my lessons, hardships, loves, and all the usual growing pains too place. As a child my up bringing was blessed. During childhood every opportunity was presented to me. A only child until the age of 10. At that time my entire life shifted. My mother fell ill right after my little brothers birth. This would be a moment in my journey that nothing would be the same. My mother was diagnosed with many illness before settling on lupus and interstitial lung disease and a variety of other illness' affecting her health on many levels. From this point forward my healing journey began. She had taught me how to give her feet massages since the age of 9 and that skill was very helpful to help her deal with the pain and circulation issues she would encounter.
Going from one doctors office to another became a regular routine. Also not getting any answers was just a frequent. This is when my faith in our medicine and Western style health system was lost. As a child seeing all the test and what it did to my mother broke my heart and to hear the same answer every time hurt even more. They had no idea how to help or even get her illness under control. The answer that rang similar in every result was we have no idea and they had never dealt with this before. At this point I gave up and began looking into many other styles of healing and other cultures.
Going to a roman catholic school from elementary to high school, gave me a much different perspective than most of the people in my neighborhood. Wasn't much of an outdoors child due to running induced asthma and laziness. Video games ruled my desires for many years. More like not knowing my purpose and potential. Wasn't a particularly good student either. Didn't pay much attention and always lived in my imagination. At this time education wasn't high on the priority list. It felt more like a constraint then a growing opportunity. Learned many lessons during these time and even was fortunate enough to be guided in a different direction in personal faith and belief from a nun in my sophomore year of high school. With a new perspective my journey was well under way by graduation at 17.
New in the world working was my biggest concern. College was a interesting experience. Didn't last too long their, felt as though my time was slipping away with every minute. Walking away and not looking back seemed to be the only sensible option. Working became my escape. Having a part time job at McDonald since high school is where I shifted my attention and went full time. After turning 18 and reaching adulthood it was time to make a change. Switching from food to sales I applied at OfficeMax. The next 2 years taught me many growing lessons. It wouldn't be the last stable sales job that graced my journey. After leaving their at age 20, I jumped around from job to job. Doing anything I could from manual labor, factory, and telemarketing work. Each experience taught me valuable lessons. Also taught me how to see people and find the truth in actions and not words.
Traveling was a dream that burned deep in my soul. Some thing was calling me. Something bigger then me. At 24 my journey took another swift shift. After a short time in Georgia I realized my life skills didn't allow me to do anything but sales and manual labor. This had to change. After visiting family and coming back to Reading I realized education was my only option. I had researched many options before returning home and set up a meeting at a massage therapy school. This decision would be the beginning of my new life. Another major lesson learned that year was to keep my family close. My father had taken his life on my birthday while attending school. Not having him in my life left a major emptiness and many questions. This was a painful reminder and yet a beautiful lesson. The amazing beings at my school helped me through the shock and detachment of emotions. Without them I have no idea who would be here today. They also helped me finish attending school. Mid way my mother got ill and was no longer able to provide me with transportation. My license had been suspend from wreck less driving in another state and being caught driving twice without a license in Pennsylvania. My driving was nonexistence. A teacher at the school would pick me up and most days bring my home also. It was a blessing to attend such an educational and loving school. After graduation my hands on healing began. Unfortunately I had lost my job mid way through the year and was unable to finish paying tuition. This left me unable to work as a licensed therapist. Taking these new skills and for the first 3 years did all barter and trade at music festivals and transformation festivals was my way of building a name for myself. This allowed me to practice within my boundaries and also prove my skills.
While attending my first transformation festival in 2012 my path crossed the didgeridoo. An incredible being named Astarius Miraculli was doing sound healing sessions. This was the first time it had ever been introduced to me. My first reaction was to buy every cd he had available at the time. A session was my next goal. While sitting in his booth he began every session with a opening meditation. Afterwards he would play and completely entrance the receiver in sound, frequency, and vibration. During my session the sound of the universe rang through me. Mind, body, and soul were all tuned to this frequency. It completely changed my perspective on music and life in general. From that moment forward if the frequency of OM wasn't in the music it wasn't in my interest any longer. A shift had taken place. A seed planted deep inside me. A didgeridoo had to be acquired !
The very first didgeridoo purchased was a spiral travel sized version, next was a small box version, both of these were perfect for the beginning steps of his journey. After learning to make the beginner sounds a long version was purchased. The very first long version was made of PVC. Being bought online it hadn't occurred to me it wasn't real wood, the description said synthetic wood. It was the deeper sound I was searching for. Along the way I was gifted a bamboo didgeridoo and purchased another long wooden version also. These were all valuable tools in my learning and growing. Each had a different sound and tone it wanted to play. Each didgeridoo has a song in it already. Discovering the differences and learning to play different versions was a major challenge. After 2 years of playing and practicing, circular breathing was learned. This began my learning curve in the didgeridoo world. It is said once circular breathing is acquired you ready to be a beginner.
Two years after learning to circular breathe I was united with my sacred instrument now in my possession. At a festival in upper New York mountains a man had built this didgeridoo and didn't know it wasn't for him. After seeing and playing it we became synchronized. It rang through me and became my soul instrument. Had to wait patiently for a year before having the money to buy it and when I saw him next I was the new proud owner.
Over the years I have played at many events and gathering from festivals, wedding parties, funerals and around camp fires. Each experience preparing me for my higher calling. 2016 was the year of deeper exploration and inward evolution. While on the festival tour it became clear to me this was much more then a instrument. It was a sacred tool to awakening the truth inside others. People were asking me to play for them, in a way these was my first healing sessions without even fully understanding them. We would travel the dimensions of sound and frequency together and share with each other during each session. At the end of the tour it had become a true calling. Knowing this had to be shared, I dived deeper and deeper into self and broke down and released layer after layer in my personal growth and evolution. Taking a year to fully explore and dive into the levels of release that can be achieved was a major break through. Understanding the connection of frequency, sound and energy was the last pieces of the puzzle. After hearing numerous stories of people travelling out of body during the sessions and receiving vision and other forms of release, it assured me my journey was headed in the right direction.
This is why I am that I am and that is all I can be. Nothing more nothing less. The next phase of this will explore even deeper into the layers or emotional release and awareness of old wounds deep inside of us and letting them free, to return to where they are needed. Let us take this journey together through sound, frequency and the levels of dimensions inside all of us. Breaking apart and releasing all that no longer serves our higher purpose. We are all in this together. Each of us on our journey into self. It is my honor to be here for you in any capacity. With gratitude, light, and love I thank you for being here with me.